Get Lost to Get Found

Getting lost in yourself is a good thing.
Photo credit - Link

You do not choose to lose a part of yourself. It can be the tedious drudgery of a life that is not enriching you. It can be the unfulfilled childhood dream that you have had when you were a little kid that never forgives you for getting forgotten. It can be the sense of loss after a broken part of yourself. A broken relationship with a lover, a friend, or a family member that keeps you up at night.

But sometimes, it takes only an acknowledgement that when you feel lost, it is usually because of a broken relationship with your real self. You lose yourself in all the needs to be done instead of what you want to do.

So when these times come to you, it is a good idea to wander about. Literally by going places by yourself or just doing something that you can enjoy on your own. You might be more loving and accepting of yourself when you get into the habit of giving yourself some time.

The one thing about getting lost in yourself is adding more value to your own self worth. Spending time with yourself adds worth in all accounts. Time is a precious commodity you rarely give to yourself because of the rat race you might be in.

So yeah, pack an overnight bag and be someplace you have never been. Learn to be with yourself and enjoying that time on your own. Be selfish because it is not entirely a bad thing to be once in a while if it means not losing yourself to the demands of your life.

As you know, trying to get lost and get you found in the end.

Why Write?

So, why do you write? You might find the reasons familiar or funny and maybe even rings true.
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I write because I have had good English and Literature mentors who taught me phrases, sentences, paragraphs, structures...and made me realize words do have rules but writing can bend those rules to communicate better. I am not one to grunt about traditional grammar but finding ways to communicate with words might become a problem. Now with more people inclined to prose and indie arts, I see no reason to further my need to explore how to use words  in an unorthodox way indeed. People have open their minds by often reading words that allow them to think they can in the most unusual way.

I write because my thoughts are worth being written and read about. Not because I am wanting attention, but rather it is fun to see how people would react to an alternate universe that my mind is actually capable of. Ideas are gateways to conversations and the sharing of ideas make me fuzzy and all warm inside. And like-minded people are actually so hard to find, even harder than finding that one true love. Because you can love someone most of the time but you cannot think like someone all the time. And talks with a like-minded person is so engaging you can forget your topics just because you are such having a darn time to keep track of the wonderful things you talk about. 

I write because imagination can come alive in words. Award winning writers tend to have good creativity in wielding words to create worlds that can take you places. And yes, imagination set with good writing is a good free ride to anywhere you might like to go. Writing is a good medium to tell a story because words are universal and universal is a prism of perception that most people can connect to - however they understand it. And when you write so good, a fandom usually emerge and you find yourself people who believe in your characters, story and know that what you thought possible can be.

I write because I was born to. Cliche and heard so many times, I can hear your eyes roll. I cannot tell you how I started writing on the get go. But I can only tell you this. i have done mundane and crazy things in my life, mostly out of randomness and inconsistency. But writing is the one thing I cannot live without. I do not know how my parents made me and who the heck in both side of the family writes, but I do. Maybe a predetermined flaw in the genes might have caused this unending itch to put words together and try to make sense. Writing. It is the one thing I can do in whatever state of life I am in.

I write because I am not good in self expression in real life. I tried visual arts when I thought I was a hot mess but I still ended up writing anyhow. Visual arts was one I can express myself partly, but writing can tell me about myself more than any other artistic or creative medium I have tried. Writing is my escape to negative brooding and over thinking. Because writing is sharing expression and if it can help release someone else's emotions and notions, then it becomes a tool for the soul to help touch someone else's life.

I write because there are stories and insights that can help people. People who read some of my public or private works have connected with my writing. And it felt like a service to these people to let them reflect and ponder their own lives with my words. Some writing might be for technical and sometimes boring manuals and such but it helped people understand how things work. More creative writings entertain people too. But touching writing can inspire people to do something in their lives and that is the best reward for any writer to have.

I write lastly, for myself. It might be self serving to say but writing is my own therapy. All this craziness and energy inside me cannot be contained by the drudgery of my daily life. A part of me will always yearn to inspire and become a story. And this is what writing do to me. Keep me aware of my own voice and help me spread that tiny bit of what I might tell someone to the real world. Writing is my own self conversations with the world. And I am crazy enough to know judgement and achievement does not always go together but at least I put it out there. Validation is only a plus to the inner peace writing does for me.

So why do you write?  

What Does Your Tattoo Look Like?

A permanent ink of who you actually are is now exposed for the world to see. What does your digital tattoo look like?
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Are you perturbed by this idea that what you do online is actually going to become your own digital tattoo? A tattoo that can tell about yourself with the random information you post anywhere in your social media accounts and topic searches. And this tattoo that you have created can never be erased in digital eons. Never. And you cannot unlike or erase your history searches in reality in the virtual world.

Sounds like a death sentence to your own privacy doesn't it? Like some invisible tallying score board about what your subconscious mind is trying to tell your conscious mind except that - well - these hints from your subconscious are actually being collected, mapped, and (gulp!) creating a virtual you for the world to see in blunt and vulnerable state. Think your secret curiosities and embarrassing photos online.

Paranoia sets in like some crazy maggots out on your summer trash bins. You tend to get rid of them but these darn maggots never run out during summer don't they? Summer time is when the good times and good ideas seem to be very documented in our social media lives. So what if you look damn good in those Victoria Secret bikini but when the employer hunts your digital tattoo - being the Ph.D. candidate do not seem so believable anymore.

And this is truly sad. Behind the paranoia is that fear of being truly known and exposed. The actual simple reason of being known to be yourself. This is quite true - we are afraid of being who we really are. And that is why some people chose not to be so disconnected to this virtual online world that the current generation deem as the new normal to social interaction. What has our society become?

Could you imagine human relationships to be ruled by digital tattoo perception? Would it be more real or surreal? Say, if you declare you like something online, but your actual search history says otherwise, would that make you a liar?

Are we becoming too absorbed in how we are perceived that we forget to become ourselves for the longest time? And does this new era of digital tattoos only speak to our primal need to become true?

Pondering these thoughts is like an endless game of cat and mouse so we leave it to there. In years to come, what would your digital tattoo be like? Hopefully something you can proudly wear for the coming generations to think about who you really really are.

Where Are You Taking Me?

Let the free bird inside you out - curiosity can let you rediscover who you really are.
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In the odd days that come by, there are sometimes the gut feeling or the hunches that you just have to take action for. It might be the sudden urge to take a different route in going to work or how you get there. And then you get to work a little bit earlier and find out a hidden patch of scenery on the way.

There are also times when a guess can make you lose a bit or a lot. Like betting on the 6/49 lotto can be a one in a million chance but it can become part of your monthly budget even when you do it once a week. Or you took an uneducated option of investing in stocks that just got a bit ugly just when the value was spiraling up the charts.

Nonetheless, seeking uncertainty can make you realize who you are and who you can be. This is the sense in pushing your own envelope and putting yourself out of your mundane comfort zones. It does not matter how little or how important your uncertain steps are - just do them in a consistent period and you get to find out who you really are in the end.

Something or nothing can come out of your effort to be unsure, but the sense of learning and experiencing the other facets of yourself (some you do not know you have them in you) can be rewards by themselves. You give the universe something to play with when you are uncertain. You are asking the All Powerful to a challenge to surprise you once in a while.

So do not disregard these hunches or urgency to take a vacation from the usual. Go for the ride and refrain yourself from asking where-are-you-taking-me questions. Just learn what they have shown you at the end - a prism of who you really are in the big picture of things.

Or maybe life may just surprise you out of your mediocre routine. Perhaps uncertainty experiences can build your own strength to be, well - you. Never stop learning about yourself. Never give up on knowing your own potential.

The Company You Keep

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When you are left with the least company you usually meet, you get to rediscover who you usually forget.

When you grow older, you get to terms that you must be alone once in a while but you still dread becoming lonely. Friends are like your soul sustenance and keep you feel outside of yourself in the great big world. Their value is understated but you know without them, your world is a bit weary to live on. Your dependence on their existence is so familiar your life would feel a lack in that space they have filled individually. 

The people we are fond of usually have similarities in who we are. They can tell you good and bad things about the world - and yes, even about yourself - but they remain beside you at all times. And somehow, they always find a way to make you laugh and cry almost simultaneously the reasons why they are in your life does not find an answer at all. 

But how about the people you randomly meet? How about the strangers on the bus looking at you without uttering one single word. As human as you are, you know that if you do not give something of a worth, they do not matter at all - at least to you. The perspective you gain from different personalities who you cross paths with can influence you so subtly, you would not notice unless you pay extra attention.

But as the universe has some applicable laws no matter how cosmic, these people who do not matter to you at all has somehow found their way into consciousness. You are connected to them - be it at the same time you see each other on the cafe at lunch breaks or the guy that reads in the newspaper stall before you reach work. You do not know them, but you recognize them and your routine would not be the same without them being a part of it. 

So, do they matter at this point? Even if you haven't shared drinks or exchanged numbers yet or do not even bother to say hello?

You see, they can remind you of that one person you always have by your side but you do not acknowledge - yourself. You have been told to always thinks outside yourself to be able to become humane. But does ignoring your sense of self, makes you more noble?

It is a tricky question to answer. When you say being selfish can be deemed bad, but not knowing yourself is foolish - you are stuck. Your efforts of finding the id and ego work together can be challenging. 

But if you get to spend more time with yourself and feel like you are outside looking in, you can doubt how well you know yourself. They say if you cannot keep your own company bearable, who can you spend your real self time with?

Can you look at your own shadow without wincing at what can stare at you back? Is there something about yourself that you like most or least? Is there something about you that you have not settled with?

Being introspective can help you ground yourself once in a while. You might not like yourself totally, but you can learn to accept what you are and what you are not. 

And by doing that, when you look at people, you can see they are all like you. Just finding out who they are by living the life they know. Getting lost, ignored, bothered by everyday life and neglected philosophies are all but human experience. An attempt to answer the most important question to ask yourself:

"What am I here for?"

How to Love Someone Perfect

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Begin by spending time in one corner and determine the start of your fascination. Then comes curiosity, the occasional sighs, and then that moment when you realized, they had become a part of your daily pondering.
Trouble. Trouble. You're hooked and you just do not know how to let them go. 

Then you self-contradict your development. You down play the fleeting butterflies in your stomach as something bad you ate for lunch today or the dread of having to speak to them and not knowing what to say at all. You shrug and avoid anything that reminds you of them but find yourself thinking of them when your head hits the pillow. Goner.

In as much as you do not want to admit, you start to zero in their possible faults and flaws. They might have different interests than you have. They hand out with weird company or they listen to your most hated band. And then, in time, you began changing your preferences. Over time, they have converted you into loving "The Cure" song you always thought to make no sense actually.

Your friends find your ramblings strange. They have to figure out your metaphors as something almost always related to that someone. You start to receive intervention by concerned best of friends due to your insistent mantra that everything you are saying is normal and is only expected.

Your mom hides her intent to ask actual facts about this someone in fear of confirming her fear of you being haunted by an imaginary friend in your age. She tells you to go out more often and hang out with your guy pals just to know if they can fish something out of you. Of course, the beer drinking buddies you have only gets drunk and you only grin in hiding your someone perfect.

And then, one day, you get sad for no apparent reason. You now begin to see that there is no point in having these strange feelings. You know you deserve the right to love in the right and sane way. You get tired of looking for the checklist you have right from the very beginning. Your check list does not suit anyone at all no matter how perfect they might seem. 

How to love someone perfect? You just don't. They only exist in dreams.

But how can you find someone to love in imperfection, quite surprising easy and non-fictional. This phenomenon happens more often than not. 

And you know what, when you open your eyes to that someone imperfect and realize they are all that you have ever needed, you truly have loved perfectly. You begin to see happiness and possibilities as something real and not ideal. You become a better person by finding a someone that can be all accepting (well not all) of who you are as you learn to appreciate the differences in between. 

You can get tired of perfection one day. But finding the reason for the imperfections to be lovable - you can not count the ways. You will always try to be understanding and open. You try to be more relevant and creative. And as you strive to become an accepting mate, your perfection never ends. 

Wandering In A Different Wonderland

Photo credits - Link
Today is the first anniversary for my moving abroad! Celebrating it with immortality - by writing! Booyah!

There is always something special connected with firsts. First baby steps. First tooth. First knee bruise. First home. First kiss. First love. First trips. First jobs. First heartbreak. First move. First career. The list goes on. All firsts and usually skips to the lasts. But before we do the bunny hops of lasts, let us look into the firsts. 

For this case, first move abroad. It is like going into the proverbial rabbit hole and becoming Alice in Wonderland personified. Never mind the culture shock or the inevitable realization that heck, you will change. Everything around you is different. 

You will be skinned alive and apart by a new set of judgement and perception. You will be shaken right down to the core of your established persona and end up with a stranger looking back at you in the mirror. You cannot trust yourself at this point of the journey as you are starting to feel you wandered too far off yourself to find you. People you expect to understand you - would really won't and your personal relationships might suffer due to double standards and unmet expectations. This would be one of those ugliest moments when you realize - who you are is being questioned and it would take a lot of faith and effort to remain true to yourself while trying to embrace who you have to become.

You will suffer a great quiet loss of your old life and old ways as you try to adapt to the foreign routines and way of life in your new location. There will come a point in time when you ask yourself if all the changes you must do are all worth the pain and loss of the process. Doubts will grow their sad heads in between who you can be and what you can only do (for now). You will be forced to some things that you never thought you would. These things are not usually criminal, but morally tugging at your heart. You will learn the Big Jungle of Life living abroad. Live and let live. 

You will start to stumble into things you never thought you can see, hear, taste, touch and feel. The movies you have seen will never be as great as the actual scenes you are actively being a part of. Even the books you read would never find the words to encapsulate the things in your mind when you experience something not usual before. You will feel ignorant and silly, but you know it is necessary to be aware of the mundane and acceptable knowledge and behavior around you. You have the lame excuse to be a "newbie" to embarrass yourself in more ways than one.

People will all seem unkind. No one can understand you or actually know how you are feeling adjusting to this new environment. You will have no support group to cry your hearts out when you feel lost, alone, lonely, and just regretful. You begin to be socially withdrawn and unassuming thinking this would make you stronger. But bit by bit, you find yourself being tired of your own drama and decide to tread on different waters. You try to associate with groups that you think can help you enjoy your quiet misery. And with some trial and error, you manage to snag a good friend or two who still cannot understand you but is genuinely concern about you. And that opens the rest of the windows and doors you locked and along the way you meet people who are lesser unkind. Even in one point, you will be able to pay the same understanding to someone who is a new kid in the block too.

You can never be thankful enough for true friends and moral support you managed to keep with the help of technology (thanks Skype, e-mails, Facebook, Twitter, among other Apps!). They will remind you who you really are no matter where you are deep inside. And in the end of this getting lost by wandering off to different shores, you become more better albeit a more stronger you. The you they know is still within you but you know you are becoming a different person too. The proof that these are your truest supporters is how they remain in your life even if you changed - or per se your location just changed. The ones that slipped out of your fast changing life events, either cannot accept the real new you or decided your paths has reached its end together. Never be sorry for finding out who these people are. They are the ones who deserve to be called true and also are to be listed to your private victory parties or success picnics.

You will find a routine far far different from what you have perceived when you decided to go abroad.  Forgive yourself and your naivete. Plans and expectations have their ways of creeping up on you but do not listen to them. Pay more attention to what you can do and be more open to the things that you must do. At this point, never say never at all. The great thing about this new place is that no one knows you and do not care if you make mistakes along the way as long as you find a way of your own. And it is with greatest hopes that when you find your own path in this new world, it is usually something more meaningful and successful in time. 

But ease your heart and fears. What you might go through might be entirely different from what you have been reading. So decide seriously this time if your first move abroad would either make or break you. Either answer can still be productive as long as you are the kind of person who wanders for the experience and not for the end results. Do not be tied with helpless goals like earning more money or being treated any differently when you have been to where you are right now. Make your own first move abroad when you are ready for a constant overhaul of who you are and you do not mind labels. When you learn to be with yourself no matter where you are. And a little curiosity of pushing your mettle never grow old.

So we might reach the topic of lasts at this point, but really, does the journey end? I do not think so. Even if you have changed your demographics, you will feel this won't be the last move you will make in your life. Pun very much intended, thank you!

So go on, Alice. Curiosity got you this far...down the rabbit hole a new world exists. You are the protagonist of this story. Wander about the places you can be and the person you can become!

Learning How to Unlearn and Re-Learn about Your Finances

(Two not-so-broke girls after a 3-day Rich Dad Poor Dad seminar, Disclaimers apply.)

Another path in the future

"A book can never change your life unless you start within."

It was a no-brainer to attend a seminar about financial education and real estate investment (duh!). You had some time off and you got to have a close pal along with you to learn new stuffs. Cool. Doing one (or three days for this case) about money and real estate is not scary enough for 30-somethings with no financial background whatsoever. This is not a form of review and is purely written out of the gratitude we felt in learning about finance management.

So with as much as smart business casual outfit we can put together, we went to brave the 3-day seminar mentored by Mike “Pip” Stehlik who pretty looked like an awesome (but crazy, he told us himself) American about Canadian real estate and a bit of facts about money. Awkward small talks happened between complete strangers and at 9 am all of the lectures, discussions, and sarcastic humor went on. We had a class of about 17-20 people in a big Scotiabank Convention Center function room and it felt close-knitted enough to be able to know most of the class’ names. It was also a good thing that we had to switch sitting arrangements more (terrifying) than it was. Snicker right here. And yes, we did appreciate the (attempts on) stand-up comedy, Pip. Not to mention the Cash Flow game is an awesome tool to learn about good and bad investments.

And besides those points and the obvious repertoire between mentor and each student, we had actually been mind-blown about the “stuffs” we learned. These are only tips of the icebergs ladies and gentlemen but we are hoping it can inspire you to be curious enough to find out more (just like we were) and in a way paying it forward to somebody out there who might need options. 

You have to feel comfortable about being in debt.
We were taught to avoid death like a plague. But being in good debt that earns you positive cash flow can be a good thing. You have to learn to borrow money to invest in real estate, business, or even paper money. If you do not learn creative financing then you have no jumping point in launching you way to financial freedom.

Do not pay off your house mortgages and (sigh) get as many credit cards as you can.
Most financial planners and acquired financial common sense (that I found out are usually in the Industrial Revolution and no longer in the Information Age) would say pay off your house mortgages and do not think about your home equity line credit (HELC). Also, pay off your credit card billing statement and do not attempt to up your credit limit by any chance. Rethink and ponder. If you pay off your mortgages, your house becomes a liability and you cannot take out your HELC to use it to acquire other investment. Same goes with your credit cards too – they are the cheapest form of money you can afford and can use to dabble in say real estate.

 Being rich will cost you – a lot.
If you earn big money, you have to lose some big money and time. And if that is further advanced education on finance management and courses, personally we would not mind (financially, well it is a different stories for now). If you can work with mentors to guide you with your next steps to earn your first significant deals, what is there to fear? And if a mentor, like Pip, would help you in any way he can (he is a great guy) I’d say the price is worth paying for to be around people who can teach you to earn and keep money. And this is no rich quick scheme. The method of actually executing what you learn and building your wealth will take time and effort on your part. Everything is simple but not all of it will be easy.

Real estate is not an alien word to the average Joes and Janes – you can actually be part of it!
We often think of real estate only for people who can in the first place, afford one piece of property in the least. This is a common notion and we were fooled by it before. The five basic necessities to any human being are food, water, oxygen, clothing, and shelter. I repeat shelter. So at the end of the day, we all have someplace to rest and we call it usually a home – and home is real estate whether owned, rented, or leased. So no matter how much or so little you know about real estate – you are already involved as a real estate investor in a way.

But after hearing the possible ways you can creatively finance your way to have leverage in the industry, you can actually do it! And believe it or not, scam or not, you can actually do this by using other people’s money or with no money no credit on the line. Sounds crazy? Well, we were taught by one crazy American but we know some legit stuff now that years in schooling would not – being street smart about having, using, and keeping money.

Find solutions and the money will come.
People who are involved in real estate are judged to be unscrupulous individuals who are out to get money out of other people. But if you work your way in real estate with integrity and all legal means, you can actually help other people in their real estate problems in the long run. You will be the solutions provider and you will creatively find a solution to their real estate dilemmas so you can have a win-win situation for everybody involved. Your actual goal is to make everyone happy in the end. And always ask "how" instead of "I can't" is where it all boils down into.

How the big boys play the money game.
Corporations are there thriving in the finance industry and now we know why. The rich are there because they think differently about how to use money and fair laws in acquiring, managing, operating, and securing their companies. And so, if the rich people can actually thrive using the three-tiers of business, why can’t your future enterprise? Before we did not know how the corporate world functions and why the billionaires we know operate their empires – but with the pointers we were given, we can say we got it big boys and these girls have been given some nice wisdom nuggets.

 Always know your big WHY.

The ‘why’ part of you being financially educated is a big factor in keeping you in the path to your own financial freedom. It is your motivation to push yourself out of your ego and engage in the possibilities of improving your financial life.

Pip said with the contrarian methods that RDPD presents to the world, it can encourage people to discourage you to not try this at all or have cold feet in the commitment to putting this into practice. And sadly, the people that can discourage you are the people who tell you they love and support you. But be reminded that it is in human nature that people who love you can rob you in pursuing your dreams unknowingly because they are afraid of you being better than them and the changes that might happen if you actually not fail. So be ready to have negativity around your efforts. This is the road less traveled and you have to keep your sight on the bigger picture and keep your own positivity even if your cheering squad is not helping at all. 

So yeah, it was 3 days well spent from our part amidst the snow storms and social awkwardness. We have actually inspired ourselves to find a way to put the stuffs we learn here into practice and get the further education in our long term goals. Who knows where we will be sitting next? And before we left, unable to commit to the costly educational program as of now, we left Pip (and great team Tammy & Baz) telling him we will seek him out when we reach the top at the time when we make it BIG!

And yes, we have got a lot of side books from RDPD to read and adapt. It is a gradual unlearning and re-learning but we have to start somewhere. This is going to be a team consistent effort and we are hoping we can make it work in the next couple of years. So booyah for the initial step! Now, where do we put our purple library? (wink)

Of Cross Roads

Photo credit - Web
written 06.06.2012 inspired by the movie "Another Perfect Stranger"

Often the word crossroads mean uncertain times, feeling lost, and having too many options at once. Almost always, cross roads symbolize a very meaningful if not life changing event in our lives. 

We may not know it, but every day we get to see The Cross in our roads. Preachy and quite something quoted from the Bible, but at the end of the day - after the hustle and bustle - you just remember something good even if you have had a bad day. That is the Cross - that is the voice that might sound like our thoughts and decisions but actually, it is the very same voice we fail to listen from God. That is the very same hope that allows you to take another crossroad each day. 

At those times when we feel uncertainty creeping on us, listening becomes easier to do, do you agree? We ask for advises, we consult our shrinks, and we find all possible ways to reassure ourselves 'we are right'. We listen intently in the hope of finding the reassurance we desperately need. But in the middle of it all, we fail to listen to ourselves and we ignore the silent clues sent by Him to lead us in the right path.

This is the part when we get lost. The excruciating point that we lose hope. And at this point, listening to The Voice is nearly next to impossible. We cower in our bad turns and decisions and find it hard to believe that you put yourself in a tight spot. We react differently and take actions variously. Most of us, when decisions take the wrong turn, turn bitter in finding The Cross in the road. Some take the down fall graciously, understanding that sacrifice is crucial to success in their undertakings. But what we fail to understand is that The Cross in our roads gives us the directions if we listen earnestly. That suffering and feeling lost and defeated is not what The Cross would want for us. The process is necessary to teach us to wait. That faithful waiting requires hope. I remember the movie line saying when there is delay in what must be done right, it is only allowed because of His mercy not to leave anyone behind in being right. 

And when we reach the point when we have earned patience in waiting, we find ourselves listening back to The Voice present in each one of us. Then, our hearts and mind slowly open to the possibilities ... and with them comes options that cause confusion. With too many options unlocked, which way does The Cross would want us to go?

There are three steps to remind yourself when you encounter a crossroad. 
Listen.
Wait.
And above all times, always hope. 
The Cross in your road will give you the certainty that you will be found with the right path in time.

Anyone's Guide to Embarrassing Situations or Life's Odd Curveballs

Ever been in one? Of course, you have - silly question.
Photo credit - Link

Come on, who never had the awkward moments in their lives? It can be bumping with an ex who happens to have moved on with a gorgeous beauty by his side while you are wearing your sleepwear in the grocery aisle. Or you happen to bring your friends into a bar that ended up having jukebox band and DOMs loitering about the boisterous and dark place while your eardrums are having tears for the super blasting sound systems. Or simply put, life just caught you with your pants down unaware! Now, boys, don't think this is going to be about the wild nights we all used to have. Wink wink. 

1. Laugh out loud. Who would dare say something ruined your disposition when you seem to laugh so hard you fall off your chair? Unless some people think you are the lunatic in your group, just laugh. Remember, laughing at yourself could only mean you have enough high self esteem to forgive your foolishness or mistakes. If you think the situation is funny, people would make it a small of a deal and laugh with you instead of putting fingers on you. Laughing expels the negativity in you, brightens up the company, and makes any bad situation into comedy. Isn't it a cure all at this point?

2. Find a quick and diplomatic solution. When you are in an awkward situation, of course you cannot stump your foot and throw tantrums like a two year old. Unless you are aged two and below, you as a mature individual can find a solution to the situation that is making you feel uncomfortable. If you meet the ex, then smile sweetly and tell them "Hi" in your pajamas. You know you are not dress like "I-have-moved-on-about-you" so just remain congenial and walk out of the scene with as much grace as you can mutter. Good manners always kills bad reviews, even in relationships. And just think what interesting follow up conversation the ex has to share with his current beau. Classic.

3. Make the best of what you have. Of course, between being trapped in a dreary place and spending time with friends, find a compromise. You can just transfer to the nearest nice place or decide to have fun. Pull out a few of your lame jokes and make fun of yourself, heck, make fun on your friends. This can divert the lingering situation out of everyone's minds.

4. Enjoy the moments. Come on, you really did not think about this idea? Embarrassing situations are far and in between so enjoy them while they last. I think being able to enjoy everything in your life is key not to be embarrassed at all. Moments like those are well worth the story for the grand kids. They might not imagine it, but the way you will tell them can indeed be enought to make them think their grandfolk must have been a funny person to be around.   

You can choose to find humor with yourself or refuse to get over the situation entirely - is all up to you. But as it has proven, a good laugh and a pat on your back are the best way out for the embarrassing situation that you encounter anytime at any place. Laughing is contagious virus but its a good contamination to spread. We need more viruses like that instead. 

Are You a Learner or An Expert?

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I came across a radio show that opened up an AHA! moment this afternoon and some Bob Ong quote yesterday and both talked about success and how it makes us forget about learning as its most important by product.

We were programmed to be experts not learners ever since we were kids. We get educated in good schools so that we can be equipped with the proper knowledge and skills to make it out on our own after college. We earn diploma and degree, some even going after PhD's that we think we need to earn the dream job we want or give us higher income. Most of us have a goal in mind and we find out how we achieve that destination. We might fail many times before we get the right formula and smile graciously at the given "Congratulations" to us when we get accomplished on something. Once we reach that end results, we strive to improve yet again or decide to be better in other areas of our lives. That same thirst is what propels us to always find something to learn irregardless of what we are doing with our lives.

Can you see the pattern here? Learning is really part of being a success be it in relationships, hobbies, or career. As human beings, we are always learning every day even if we get out of the traditional classroom teaching. What we learn might not be related in the goal we have in mind but we come across them anyway. 

We are simultaneous beings in that we can accommodate different real modules at a time even if we feel overwhelmed. You might be gaining notoriety in your work but you find out about having better communication skills with your family all at the same day. You always learn something even without trying because that is how we were built for. As we claim to be higher intellectual creatures of Earth, we should never stop learning just because we got comfortable in our expert chair.

Mistakes are part of learning. Making mistakes has no short cut or other equal substitute. We all have different experiences because we have to make our own mistakes. This levels the field and help us learn from each other no matter the background. If we pause a few seconds in our busy life, no matter how different we are we always find commonality in our mistakes. Funny, huh? That is because we are human beings and having human natures - we fall into similar pits. But our learning abilities differ and we must be thankful because it means we can share more ideas and methods about life.

So do not believe that life can give you the expert badge for a long time. Almost always, life can really knock you off your high horse and reminds you to resume your duty as the student of life. Always choose to be a learner because that is something that cannot be taken away from you. It makes you an adventurer in life - keeps the boredom away and hey, keeps you interesting because you are always interested with something. We only use 20% of our brains in our lifetime and we could improve the odds by setting our minds in using the rest of the 80% in learning. 

We are learners and success should only be its by product as contrast to the first sentence in this write up. Success can make you happy but often only temporarily - and emptiness would always find its way back at you. Learning on the other hand, can be more fulfilling and makes you more contented with what you have and prompts you into sharing it with others.

That is why people who dwell in the process and not the end results always lead more meaningful lives. They are the ones who make unforgettable contributions to the society. And surprisingly, we are part of those who admire them because their effort in learning has surpassed beyond normal human powers. 

But we are capable of doing greater things if we just set our mind to learn. Think about it - and learn!

And this reminds me of the usual kudos of the groups:

For Scho: "Destined to do greater things!"

For Wbz: "I don't need luck, I'm good!"

I Am Here ...Now What Do I Do?

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Never forget your curiosity to try something new.

It was a dream you wanted to come true or maybe a goal you wanted to accomplished. And now, the dream has become your reality and the goal has been achieved - now what do you do?

Ever wondered what most protagonist do after their happily ever afters and winners have won their trophies? Well, for the record, aside from those book twos or trilogy movies - most of the happy endings do not really state what you do with the happy. 

So what do people who are already winners do? They strive to dream bigger and be happier. It is not instiable ambition to get ahead of what you have already succeeded in doing. Look at athletes who become champions in their sports each year - they only compete with themselves in the end having no one else to beat or displace.

Well, it is like that in life apparently. You can never say, I have done this and that now I must stop. Even at the threshold of your success or failure, you can never stop struggling in beating yourself. You cannot be too hard on yourself either. The essential yin-yang is to be observed to remain sane and non self-critical. 

You will not remain the same - that can be assured as you reach different levels of experience in what you decide to do. Dare to say, you can never limit yourself in what you can possibly do, have or become. Life throws a curveball most of the time and choices define who you can be. It was never a question of antagonists but a question on whether you are willing to put yourself out there. Meaning, to be strong enough to be your own potential no matter where life takes you. 

People fear both sides of the coin flip - failure and success - because both outcomes mean changes. And changes, being creatures of habit - is not a favorite term of human beings who thrive on security and constancy. But believe that was meant for you will always be for you and what is not will not be given to you no matter the circumstance. If you are a believer in making your own destiny then you cannot deny fate as well. You run your life, you run your show, but it does not discredit life to run you.

So when you get there - no matter where your life path takes you, remember the milestones in your life. Think how far you have come this far and never regret what you did or did not do. Leave your baggage as you trudge along your road. Imminent failure or success will still chase you anyway regardless if you choose or not. Be nice. Be happy. Be positive and chances are, you will never run out of something to do. You may be in some jump off point in your life right now, but remember that you have led yourself at that spot and you only need to plunge and believe what you have is enough for the path you intend to take. 

And when you do doubt yourself, remember that your life is not defined by a single moment or chance. Your life will be defined how far you have failed or succeeded in what you were destined to do. And no one can make a mistake of knowing what is it you are supposed to do - but yourself. So as always said, stay true to yourself and success or failure will not faze you. 

You Got to Get Ruined

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A jump might ruin your balance but it sure makes you alive! (A note to self)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

6 am and the workaholic got up to face a brand new day. Stressful mornings and Mondays are not ideal for embracing the start of the week, but heck, got to do the motions to earn the daily wage. Got into work a bit late, tired, spent, and wishing its already weekend. 

Familiar? Yes, this is the usual day for a yuppie. A tired yuppie. Does not matter how much pay you take home, but looking at these people make you go want to ask them, "So where is the rest of your life?"

Answers can range from: None. Nada. Not happening. Not until that filed leave. Still got work to finish...work has literally became the excuse not to live life! Better take a look in the mirror and someone older might look back at you!

So before you hit the panic button, knowing this might be you, hold on a sec. Assess yourself, are you falling into the drudgery of your own life? Has your routine have you wishing it was all weekend on weekdays? Then wake up and smell the coffee ~ all yuppies tend to do that. Not because they have to - just because they have not yet figured out what makes them complete and utterly contented. If you find yourself in this kind of rat race, then step back. Do you really want to work like this and miss the rest of your life?

Ideal as it may sound, you got to get your life back. You got to get ruined. You got to hit the rock bottom so you can hit your noggin into something solid to shake you back into real life. Repeat that, real life! Haven't you notice you become philosophical whenever you face failure? Aside from justification purposes, really, you get a lesson or two. All up to you if you manage to learn from them of course. 

Being vulnerable teaches you to be humble. It teaches you to draw your strength not from what you have accomplished or have but rather on the person that you have become. Accepting failure takes a lot more courage than gaining over the adversity you might be facing. Getting ruined means giving yourself a chance to piece yourself together again. 

So if you are hitting a rough patch, breaking up, lost your wallet, or really just being ruined, accept it. Just think of the ancient ruins in Greece - they are there to remind us how a great civilization can crumble without reprieve. Life is a bitch, I heard someone shout out today, but you can bitch back too no matter how ruined you feel. 

Life do not allow you to just do the motions to be alive. Life is uncertain to keep you guessing what happens next in your real life. No matter how much you hide yourself in work loads or some excuses, life will still bitch at you. He is like that prefect that keeps a constant eye on you when you become too routinary. 

So when you are at your ruins, keep that head up. Still search for the everyday magic that drudgery can take away in your daily life. Keep looking for the magic instead of the obstacles before you. If you cannot find luck, then create your own opportunity. Do not just cringe (well, at the start its a natural reaction) when life gets you. Life fetches you every now and then to keep you grounded. Just to keep you real. 

Untitled Sadness

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I feel you fading further away

As your absence gnaws at me

I began to say goodbye

And yet now you tell me to stay

Broken promises

Empty words

Waiting in vain.

A friend or a lover

You dare not tell

Undefined is hurtful

Loosing you is the same.

I wrote your name in the sands

Hoping the ebbing waves take it away.

But the wind whispers your name

And the waves cry out in dismay.

True love,

Where has it gone?

Far away...

Remembered and then forgotten...

Too late

Too soon

Too deep

Too regretful,

So I walked away.

Immiscible

Poem written in 2000, Ateneo Classroom
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Wide open

Into the horizons

I stare...

Then down

The blue of ocean

I stumble...

A feather I lost

On my wings

Ocean sprays

And sparkling

I struggled...

Down into

Depthless abyss

I drown...

Lapping waves and

Sparkling sunshine

I dream...

I ask...

When shall heaven meet the sea?

Border Moon

written 9.4.2009, outdoors

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The moon and me

We share a reverie

Almost a sad song

Of old times gone.

Its waxing beams turn

Into a warning burn

In her full form

The stars are forlorn.

Alas, in all its glory

Shines a vague story

Of untold whispers

A mystery lingers.

In its fading glow,

Recollection run slow

Dawn is breaking out

Helios' chariots shout.

Ideals in words

Finding their worth

Harder to believe

Tired of reprieve.

Unsung heroes remains

Souls left un-slain

Rising up to disappeared

Leaving without smear.

Passions do not die

Simmering in my eyes

The moon fades

My immortal is made.