Get Lost to Get Found

Getting lost in yourself is a good thing.
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You do not choose to lose a part of yourself. It can be the tedious drudgery of a life that is not enriching you. It can be the unfulfilled childhood dream that you have had when you were a little kid that never forgives you for getting forgotten. It can be the sense of loss after a broken part of yourself. A broken relationship with a lover, a friend, or a family member that keeps you up at night.

But sometimes, it takes only an acknowledgement that when you feel lost, it is usually because of a broken relationship with your real self. You lose yourself in all the needs to be done instead of what you want to do.

So when these times come to you, it is a good idea to wander about. Literally by going places by yourself or just doing something that you can enjoy on your own. You might be more loving and accepting of yourself when you get into the habit of giving yourself some time.

The one thing about getting lost in yourself is adding more value to your own self worth. Spending time with yourself adds worth in all accounts. Time is a precious commodity you rarely give to yourself because of the rat race you might be in.

So yeah, pack an overnight bag and be someplace you have never been. Learn to be with yourself and enjoying that time on your own. Be selfish because it is not entirely a bad thing to be once in a while if it means not losing yourself to the demands of your life.

As you know, trying to get lost and get you found in the end.

What Does Your Tattoo Look Like?

A permanent ink of who you actually are is now exposed for the world to see. What does your digital tattoo look like?
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Are you perturbed by this idea that what you do online is actually going to become your own digital tattoo? A tattoo that can tell about yourself with the random information you post anywhere in your social media accounts and topic searches. And this tattoo that you have created can never be erased in digital eons. Never. And you cannot unlike or erase your history searches in reality in the virtual world.

Sounds like a death sentence to your own privacy doesn't it? Like some invisible tallying score board about what your subconscious mind is trying to tell your conscious mind except that - well - these hints from your subconscious are actually being collected, mapped, and (gulp!) creating a virtual you for the world to see in blunt and vulnerable state. Think your secret curiosities and embarrassing photos online.

Paranoia sets in like some crazy maggots out on your summer trash bins. You tend to get rid of them but these darn maggots never run out during summer don't they? Summer time is when the good times and good ideas seem to be very documented in our social media lives. So what if you look damn good in those Victoria Secret bikini but when the employer hunts your digital tattoo - being the Ph.D. candidate do not seem so believable anymore.

And this is truly sad. Behind the paranoia is that fear of being truly known and exposed. The actual simple reason of being known to be yourself. This is quite true - we are afraid of being who we really are. And that is why some people chose not to be so disconnected to this virtual online world that the current generation deem as the new normal to social interaction. What has our society become?

Could you imagine human relationships to be ruled by digital tattoo perception? Would it be more real or surreal? Say, if you declare you like something online, but your actual search history says otherwise, would that make you a liar?

Are we becoming too absorbed in how we are perceived that we forget to become ourselves for the longest time? And does this new era of digital tattoos only speak to our primal need to become true?

Pondering these thoughts is like an endless game of cat and mouse so we leave it to there. In years to come, what would your digital tattoo be like? Hopefully something you can proudly wear for the coming generations to think about who you really really are.

I Am Here ...Now What Do I Do?

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Never forget your curiosity to try something new.

It was a dream you wanted to come true or maybe a goal you wanted to accomplished. And now, the dream has become your reality and the goal has been achieved - now what do you do?

Ever wondered what most protagonist do after their happily ever afters and winners have won their trophies? Well, for the record, aside from those book twos or trilogy movies - most of the happy endings do not really state what you do with the happy. 

So what do people who are already winners do? They strive to dream bigger and be happier. It is not instiable ambition to get ahead of what you have already succeeded in doing. Look at athletes who become champions in their sports each year - they only compete with themselves in the end having no one else to beat or displace.

Well, it is like that in life apparently. You can never say, I have done this and that now I must stop. Even at the threshold of your success or failure, you can never stop struggling in beating yourself. You cannot be too hard on yourself either. The essential yin-yang is to be observed to remain sane and non self-critical. 

You will not remain the same - that can be assured as you reach different levels of experience in what you decide to do. Dare to say, you can never limit yourself in what you can possibly do, have or become. Life throws a curveball most of the time and choices define who you can be. It was never a question of antagonists but a question on whether you are willing to put yourself out there. Meaning, to be strong enough to be your own potential no matter where life takes you. 

People fear both sides of the coin flip - failure and success - because both outcomes mean changes. And changes, being creatures of habit - is not a favorite term of human beings who thrive on security and constancy. But believe that was meant for you will always be for you and what is not will not be given to you no matter the circumstance. If you are a believer in making your own destiny then you cannot deny fate as well. You run your life, you run your show, but it does not discredit life to run you.

So when you get there - no matter where your life path takes you, remember the milestones in your life. Think how far you have come this far and never regret what you did or did not do. Leave your baggage as you trudge along your road. Imminent failure or success will still chase you anyway regardless if you choose or not. Be nice. Be happy. Be positive and chances are, you will never run out of something to do. You may be in some jump off point in your life right now, but remember that you have led yourself at that spot and you only need to plunge and believe what you have is enough for the path you intend to take. 

And when you do doubt yourself, remember that your life is not defined by a single moment or chance. Your life will be defined how far you have failed or succeeded in what you were destined to do. And no one can make a mistake of knowing what is it you are supposed to do - but yourself. So as always said, stay true to yourself and success or failure will not faze you. 

Immiscible

Poem written in 2000, Ateneo Classroom
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Wide open

Into the horizons

I stare...

Then down

The blue of ocean

I stumble...

A feather I lost

On my wings

Ocean sprays

And sparkling

I struggled...

Down into

Depthless abyss

I drown...

Lapping waves and

Sparkling sunshine

I dream...

I ask...

When shall heaven meet the sea?